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EFF: Ink-Stained Wretches: The Battle for the Soul of Digital Freedom Taking Place Inside Your Printer
Ink-Stained Wretches: The Battle for the Soul of Digital Freedom Taking Place Inside Your Printer Since its founding in the 1930s, Hewlett-Packard has been synonymous with innovation, and many's the engineer who had cause to praise its workhorse oscillators, minicomputers, servers, and PCs. But since the turn of this century, the company's changed its name to HP and its focus to sleazy ways to part unhappy printer owners from their money. Printer companies have long excelled at this dishonorable practice, but HP is truly an innovator, the industry-leading Darth Vader of sleaze, always ready to strong-arm you into a "deal" and then alter it later to tilt things even further to its advantage. The company's just beat its own record, converting its "Free ink for life" plan into a "Pay us $0.99 every month for the rest of your life or your printer stops working" plan. Plenty of businesses offer some of their products on the cheap in the hopes of stimulating sales of their higher-margin items: you've probably heard of the "razors and blades" model (falsely) attributed to Gillette, but the same goes for cheap Vegas hotel rooms and buffets that you can only reach by running a gauntlet of casino "games," and cheap cell phones that come locked into a punishing, eternally recurring monthly plan. Printers are grifter magnets, and the whole industry has been fighting a cold war with its customers since the first clever entrepreneur got the idea of refilling a cartridge and settling for mere astronomical profits, thus undercutting the manufacturers' truly galactic margins. This prompted an arms race in which the printer manufacturers devote ever more ingenuity to locking third-party refills, chips, and cartridges out of printers, despite the fact that no customer has ever asked for this. Lexmark: First-Mover Advantage But for all the dishonorable achievements of the printer industry's anti-user engineers, we mustn't forget the innovations their legal departments have pioneered in the field of ink- and toner-based bullying. First-mover advantage here goes to IBM, whose lawyers ginned up an (unsuccessful) bid to use copyright law to prevent a competitor, Static Controls, from modifying used Lexmark toner cartridges so they'd work after they were refilled. A little more than a decade after its failure to get the courts to snuff out Static Controls, Lexmark was actually sold off to Static Controls' parent company. Sadly, Lexmark's aggressive legal culture came along with its other assets, and within a year of the acquisition, Lexmark's lawyers were advancing a radical theory of patent law to fight companies that refilled its toner cartridges. HP: A Challenger Appears Lexmark's fights were over laser-printer cartridges, filled with fine carbon powder that retailed at prices that rivaled diamonds and other exotic forms that element. But laser printers are a relatively niche part of the printer market: the real volume action is in inkjet printers: dirt-cheap, semi-disposable, and sporting cartridges (half-) full of ink priced to rival vintage Veuve-Clicquot. For the inkjet industry, ink was liquid gold, and they innovated endlessly in finding ways to wring every drop of profit from it. Companies manufactured special cartridges that were only half-full for inclusion with new printers, so you'd have to quickly replace them. They designed calibration tests that used vast quantities of ink, and, despite all this calibration, never could quite seem to get a printer to register that there was still lots of ink left in the cartridge that it was inexplicably calling "empty" and refusing to draw from. But all this ingenuity was at the mercy of printer owners, who simply did not respect the printer companies' shareholders enough to voluntarily empty their bank accounts to refill their printers. Every time the printer companies found a way to charge more for less ink, their faithless customers stubbornly sought out competitors who'd patronize rival companies who'd refill or remanufacture their cartridges, or offer compatible cartridges. Security Is Job One Shutting out these rivals became job one. When your customers reject your products, you can always win their business back by depriving them of the choice to patronize a competitor. Printer cartridges soon bristled with "security chips" that use cryptographic protocols to identify and lock out refilled, third-party, and remanufactured cartridges. These chips were usually swiftly reverse-engineered or sourced out of discarded cartridges, but then the printer companies used dubious patent claims to have them confiscated by customs authorities as they entered the USA. (We’ve endorsed legislation that would end this practice.) Here again, we see the beautiful synergy of anti-user engineering and anti-competition lawyering. It's really heartwarming to see these two traditional rival camps in large companies cease hostilities and join forces. Alas, the effort that went into securing HP from its customers left precious few resources to protect HP customers from the rest of the world. In 2011, the security researcher Ang Cui presented his research on HP printer vulnerabilities, "Print Me If You Dare." Cui found that simply by hiding code inside a malicious document, he could silently update the operating system of HP printers when the document was printed. His proof-of-concept code was able to seek out and harvest Social Security and credit-card numbers; probe the local area network; and penetrate the network's firewall and allow him to freely roam it using the compromised printer as a gateway. He didn't even have to trick people into printing his gimmicked documents to take over their printers: thanks to bad defaults, he was able to find millions of HP printers exposed on the public Internet, any one of which he could have hijacked with unremovable malware merely by sending it a print-job. The security risks posed by defects in HP's engineering are serious. Criminals who hack embedded systems like printers and routers and CCTV cameras aren't content with attacking the devices' owners—they also use these devices as botnets for devastating denial of service and ransomware attacks. For HP, though, the "security update" mechanism built into its printers was a means for securing HP against its customers, not securing those customers against joining botnets or having the credit card numbers they printed stolen and sent off to criminals. In March 2016, HP inkjet owners received a "security update available" message on their printers' screens. When they tapped the button to install this update, their printers exhibited the normal security update behavior: a progress bar, a reboot, and then nothing. But this "security update" was actually a ticking bomb: a countdown timer that waited for five months before it went off in September 2016, activating a hidden feature that could detect and reject all third-party ink cartridges. HP had designed this malicious update so that infected printers would be asymptomatic for months, until after parents had bought their back-to-school supplies. The delay ensured that warnings about the "security update" came too late for HP printer owners, who had by then installed the update themselves. HP printer owners were outraged and told the company so. The company tried to weather the storm, first by telling customers that they'd never been promised their printers would work with third-party ink, then by insisting that the lockouts were to ensure printer owners didn't get "tricked" with "counterfeit" cartridges, and finally by promising that future fake security updates would be clearly labeled. HP never did disclose which printer models it attacked with its update, and a year later, they did it again, once again waiting until after the back-to-school season to stage its sneak attack, stranding cash-strapped parents with a year's worth of useless ink cartridges for their kids' school assignments. You Don't Own Anything Other printer companies have imitated HP's tactics but HP never lost its edge, finding new ways to transfer money from printer owners to its tax-free offshore accou
Thoughts on picking the low hanging fruit of frugality Part 2. Monetization
In part 1 I touched on how to change your mindset to optimize. https://www.reddit.com/leanfire/comments/if7pxw/thoughts_on_picking_the_low_hanging_fruit_of/ If you don't want to read that, it is just basically rethinking the what/where/how of your purchases to make your money go its farthest. I used the example of food since that is the most universal thing for all of us...but it applies to clothes (thrift stores, clearance racks, discount outlets, etc vs. trendy stores buying things in season), cars, housing...virtually anything else you can think of. Part 2 is about actually making money with your frugality rather than trying to spend it the best way possible. I'm not talking about a job or even really a side hustle. I'm talking about making money from the things you need or enjoy and would be doing anyway. Above I mentioned a few things where we can optimize...but, if done right, many of these things can be monetized. Food, for example. If you are someone that enjoys gardening, you can sell your excess produce. If you like some item that is much, much cheaper if bought in bulk, you can sell the excess at a slight profit. If you like to cook, again, you can make extra and sell off the rest for profit. When I say sell, this doesn't have to mean opening a store or a stand or anything elaborate. Just put it out there to your friends and family and see if they are interested in buying your stuff. If that is something that would make you feel awkward, there is always facebook marketplace, craigslist, etc. Nothing that needs to take a lot of time or effort on your part...and the good news is even if you don't sell anything it is something YOU like and will use anyway. Eventually. I end up buying a lot of items in bulk, and often just squirrel it away for myself if I think I'll have a hard time finding that same deal later...but if I'm pretty sure it is repeatable, I'll ask around if anyone ones to take some of it. It is a win, win. They also get something cheaper than they can find elsewhere, and I make a small profit from it. Clothes. I have to admit, this one might be a little harder to monetize unless you are good with sewing and create something you like to wear that you can also sell for a profit. I think most people would find it easier to "flip" clothes. Again, this needs to be something you enjoy...but if you love shopping and buy stuff you'd wear anyway, you have nothing to lose. Thrift stores and clearance racks mean I spend less than $100 a year on clothes. I spend about $20 a year on socks (usually 2 for $1) and t shirts (from $1 - $3) to replace the worn out items that have become thin or full of holes...which then become cleaning rags. cue Elton John singing "The Circle of Life". I also get a cheap pair of sneakers each year that cost about $10 from Walmart to replace the old worn out pair. I also usually buy one nice pair of boots or shoes for less than $15 from clearance if I can find them. Everything else is thrifted or bought on clearance racks. The big stores at the mall will mark things down stupid low rather than send them back for a write off. I routinely find nice shirts/sweaters for between $1 - $5. Some of these are even "designer". Pants/Jeans I never spend more than $5 -$10. I will sometimes find suit jackets at these stores in my price range of $10 and under, too...although that is fairly rare these days. I get most of my Jackets from thrift stores, and really take advantage of the "bag sales" where you can stuff as much in the bag for $10 as you can. Again, don't buy anything you don't like and won't wear anyway. I then take these items to the consignment shops or boutiques that buy designer goods and see what I can get for them. If they offer a good profit I'll sell a few things. If not, there is the same facebook/craigslist option to sell off the excess...and even if nothing sells, you have clothes you like and would wear anyway. Cars. Knowing how little I spend each year, you might expect me to be driving around in an old torn up beater. I have several cars...all are vintage European luxury cars. I buy them at the bottom of the depreciation curve (this usually happens around 15 -20 years...but not always) drive them for a few years with dirt cheap liability only insurance (I keep 3 or 4 insured at a time @ around $15 per month each) while they start to appreciate, then sell them off when the time is right and use that money to buy another car and fund repairs, licensing, etc for the others (usually with good margins left over). Entertainment. We have a lot of Native American land around here, and they all have casinos. The closest one is only about 10 or 15 minutes from my house. Every week they have a free slot tournament, give me a $10 food credit, and give you a free play credit for the slot machines. The amount of the free play varies, but it is usually around $10 -$15 per week. I just run through the free play money and then stop and cash out whatever I've won at that point. Some months are better than others, but so far this month I haven't been real lucky and have only cashed out $28 over the 3 weeks I've gone so far. (the credit this month was $20 per week) I haven't placed in the money in any of the slot tournaments this year, but last year I was in the money twice and got a total of about $700. The food credit is usually enough to cover the buffet which has a nice salad bar, so I can really take advantage of that and get a free day of eating when I go...but of course no buffet right now for obvious reasons. So my only vegan option is a deli wrap, bag of chips, and a drink for my freebie meal. Not a full day of calories like the buffet, but you can't really complain about a free meal. Anyway, this makes for great free entertainment that even pays me a little. Other casinos in the area do similar things, but I usually don't go because most of the others are more like 30 minutes or farther away and simply just aren't as nice as the one I go to each week. Again, this is turning into a very long post...but those are just a few examples of how you can monetize things you'd be using or doing anyway. Please share the things you enjoy that you've been able to monetize or feel free to comment on the things I've mentioned! Thanks for reading such a long post!
JERRY'S NUGGET PLAYING CARDS Almost every hobby that involves collecting has a holy grail which every collector dreams of finding and owning in their personal collection. For some playing card collectors, the grail of collecting would be a sealed deck of original Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards in pristine condition. If you've spent some time in the world of playing cards, you'll almost certainly have heard of this famous deck, because name-dropping the famous "Jerry's Nuggets" often happens in discussion forums about cards. Owning an original deck of these is often mentioned as a badge of honour that cements your credentials as a serious collector. If you have one, it's likely a prized item in your collection, because it is one of the most iconic and valuable decks of cards there is from the latter half of the 20th century. These playing cards were first created in 1970 in order to be used at Jerry's Nugget Casino, which is located in Las Vegas, Nevada. The casino was founded by Jerry Lodge and Jerry Stamis in 1964, hence the name "Jerry". It's still owned and operated by the Stamis family today. But after being manufactured, the Jerry's Nugget playing cards were put into storage for around 20 years, and were never used on the casino's gaming tables. Why? Even the folks at the casino don't remember the reasons why. Was it because they wanted to keep in step with the other casinos in town that were using borderless Bee-backed cards at the time? Was it because the back design was too detailed or too simple, and could be marked too easily by card cheats? Who knows. At any rate, they were sometimes offered as complimentary gifts to guests who stayed at the casino, while the rest were eventually sold individually at the casino's gift store for as little as one or two dollars each. They finally sold out around 1999, and according to rumour the final case was purchased by an overseas buyer.. But with magician and playing card expert Lee Asher singing their praises and selling them on his website, and with cardists Dan and Dave Buck also getting on the bandwagon, using them in some of their cardistry videos, and vouching for them, demand only continued to grow. https://preview.redd.it/nkubo992c0e51.jpg?width=463&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=945cb8c6b15b6e823a43050d5cb9e82bc50c52a3 What made these playing cards special is that they were produced with a top-of-the-line grade of USPCC card-stock that was only produced for a limited period of time. It is thinner than most contemporary playing cards, and is simply not available today. What's more, modern printing methods simply can't replicate the original process used to produce these playing cards. This involved a cotton roller that would paint the embossing pattern on one side of the card, followed by a varnished finish that was applied by a dip coat technique. Environmental restrictions also mean that the chemical finish used for this has been abandoned. In short, technology has made these manufacturing methods completely obsolete, and this all means that it's just not possible for there to be anything quite like these decks ever again. That in itself wouldn't make them the stuff of legend. But Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards began to develop a legendary reputation for amazing handling qualities. Demand began to increase, and over time, they have become highly sought after by playing card collectors and by those with an interest in card flourishing. As demand increased, the price went up, and their growing scarcity means that today you can expect to pay up to $500 for a deck on the secondary market. As often happens in such cases, the story of Jerry's Nuggets Playing Cards began to attract some interesting side stories. There are reports about a large remaining haul of these playing cards being bought up from the gift shop, and held back by an unknown stranger who is sitting on what is now a valuable commodity. They also attracted the attention of counterfeiters, since the increasing price-tag suddenly made it viable to sell forgeries. Lee Asher has an extensive guide that contains information to help you identify illegal fakes, after sophisticated counterfeiters began flooding the market with them just over a decade ago. But all this has only served to add to the legend that is Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards. Today most playing card collectors and magicians have all heard of Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards, and consider them to be the stuff of legend: a unique product with legendary handling, that is hard to find, and impossible to reproduce. As the old adage puts it, it's something often imitated but never duplicated. And as the number of playing card collectors continues to grow, the appeal, scarcity, and value of a deck of authentic Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards only continues to increase. https://preview.redd.it/e6owf022c0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb71ed6945e6968f0892ca68914f43ce5897b370 A RECREATION OF THE ORIGINAL But this doesn't end the story of the famous Jerry's Nugget playing cards. Given how much in demand these legendary decks were, it was only a matter of time before someone saw a business opportunity here. What about a reprint, to cater to the desire of modern collectors to own their own copy of Jerry's Nuggets? The idea was not a new one, and it appears that there have been other Jerry's Nugget decks produced besides the ones that have become the stuff of legend, including a small printing by USPCC around 2010. But in 2019 the market was ripe for producing something that would serve as a tribute and homage to the famous Jerry's Nuggets, while retaining as much of the original as possible. So a crowdfunding project was launched to produce an authentic recreation of the original Jerry's Nugget playing cards. Obviously such a deck could never be an exact replica, not only because printing methods made this impossible, but also because look-alike decks might only be abused by people seeking to make a quick buck by passing them off as a genuine vintage copy. The recreation project happened with the blessing of Jerry's Nugget Casino, and with the cooperation of the United States Playing Card Company (USPCC), and the Expert Playing Card Company (EPCC). The amount of support this Kickstarter received is in itself a testimony to the popularity of these iconic decks. It raised almost half a million dollars, with the support of over 4,000 backers. Two main versions of the deck were produced. The Modern Feel deck was produced by USPCC, with their popular thin-crushed stock preferred by many cardists. This means that its quality, feel, and handling performance is very similar to any other thin-crushed cardistry deck printed in their factories. But unlike most custom decks, the high volume of decks produced meant that USPCC could print these reproductions on the larger web press which they also use for big print runs of their Bicycle decks. The Vintage Feel deck was produced by EPCC, and was manufactured in China with what is known as their "JN Finish". This is a firmer and more snappy card stock than what USPCC uses, while also being somewhat thin, smooth, and yet very durable. In EPCC's estimation, these match the look and feel of the originals as close as anyone has been able to achieve. In reality, many have reported that they don't quite live up to this claim, and suggest that the cards tend to clump more quickly then a USPCC deck, and that intense shuffling of the red deck can cause some bleeding of the colour onto the card faces. My own experience with the Vintage Feel decks has been fairly positive, and I appreciate the thin card-stock, smooth feel, and snappy handling. It performs more similar to a typical USPCC deck than the Master finish decks from EPCC deck do, but with heavy use the coating will wear, making spreads and fan inconsistent, although the fact that the cards tend to cling together slightly under pressure makes it ideal for packet cuts and sleights like the double lift. https://preview.redd.it/42e9if37c0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=963e0b01412960904ac80af530bb2d2e8d277b2e So how do these decks compare with the original Jerry's Nugget decks from the 1970s in terms of looks? In the case of both decks, colour matching was used to recreate the iconic red and blue colours as closely as possible. The back design, court cards, and Jokers are all the same as the originals, as is the Ace of Spades (aside from some tiny numbers). There's also an off-center seal and a red tear strip on the plastic, all of which were distinctive features of the original deck as well. Both the Modern Feel and Vintage Deal decks also have a traditional cut. A difference that the Modern Feel decks have from the original Jerry's Nuggets is that they come with an extra two cards (a double backer and a blank card), since USPCC now prints decks with 56 cards instead of 54. The new deck is also clearly distinguished from the original deck since the bottom of the tuck box states "Modern Feel 1st Edition - 2019". The Vintage Feel deck shares one extra similarity with the original deck that the Modern Feel deck does not, namely the style of the long-tongue flap. This is a distinctive feature of the original tuck box, but couldn't be replicated with the Modern Feel decks due to the fact that USPCC has long discontinued this style of tuck design. And of course the unique and snappy stock of the Vintage Feel decks makes them look and feel different than a traditional USPCC printed deck, much like the original Jerry's Nuggets also had a unique touch about them. Due to the high level of crowdfunding, many extras were produced as part of the campaign for the recreated decks. The Modern Feel deck was produced in two additional colours, Teal and Coral, as well as a blue luxury foil deck, a stripper deck, and a gaff deck. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards, the year 2020 has seen the release of yet more colours for the Vintage Feel decks, making them available in Steel Grey, Black, Yellow. A Modern Feel deck in rose (pink) was also recently released as part of a collaboration with Riffle Shuffle Playing Card Company, while a purple deck is being released in conjunction with Penguin Magic. Suddenly, the market is full of Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards once again. But unlike the originals, they are now very affordable and readily available, which was one of the aims of this project. Now anyone can own their own deck of Jerry's Nuggets, without breaking the bank, with a recreation that is faithful to the striking and iconic design of the originals, and yet has the qualities and performance that the modern collector wants and expects. https://preview.redd.it/nw5fez68c0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c930544afcaf22fe8cb0ba63cb49b21c94fb4e5 CHICKEN NUGGET PLAYING CARDS At this point you might think there is little more to say about the famous Jerry's Nuggets. Not so, because there is one more important chapter to tell in this saga. This one, however, is a miniature comedy, and will especially appeal to those with a good sense of humour. Already back in 2016, and well before the concept of the recreated Jerry's Nugget decks appeared, Taiwanese magician and cardist Hanson Chien decided to create something very similar to the original Jerry's Nuggets, as somewhat of a joke: the Chicken Nugget Playing Cards. Hanson has extensive experience as a magician and a cardist, and magicians know a thing or two about achieving the impossible. As a result, the fact these classic decks could not be replicated was not about to stop him. He set about to recreate them in the form of a parody deck, that would serve as a tribute to the original and iconic Jerry's Nuggets, but at the same time serving as a witty satire that would poke fun at our love for fast food. Not surprisingly, especially because this was prior to the announcement of the official replicas in 2019, these were tremendously popular, due to the Jerry's Nugget look, as well as the amusing artwork. To produce the decks, Hanson set up his own playing card company, Hanson Chien Production Company (HCPC). He also used the exact colour specifications from the familiar red and blue originals, and he employed creative artist Limin for the artwork. It was important to retain as many of the distinctive features of the original decks as possible, so the Chicken Nuggets carefully replicate details such as the off-center tax stamp, the red tear-strip on the plastic wrapper, and the historical 1970 date inside the tuck box flap. Paper of the same weight and texture of the old tax stamp was used, with a similar design and shape. The card backs feature the familiar "oil derrick" design of the originals, but with an important difference: these now read "Chicken Nugget". But perhaps the biggest unique contribution that this parody deck makes is with the court cards. At first sight, everything seems very standard, until you look more closely at them. https://preview.redd.it/gxdhub8yb0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=accefe6496a22e0f7144967349b0514209d3fce2 Upon close observation, you'll see all kinds of details that parody our love for fast food. The royal characters that inhabit the court cards are consuming all kinds of junk food, including sweet things like ice-cream, chocolate, and donuts, snacks like potato chips and popcorn, plus American favourites like hamburgers, hot dogs, and french fries. Even noodles come in for punishment, as our court card friends are literally stuffing themselves with all kinds of unhealthy eats and drinks! The artwork will prove amusing even for people unfamiliar with the original Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards that these pay homage to. The court cards in particular are quite hilarious and well-drawn, and reflect a good sense of humor. Of course anyone who is familiar with the iconic Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards will especially appreciate the clever spoof that this deck is, while being a wonderful tribute to a classic and famous deck. In parodying the original, great attention has been paid to detail in all elements of the design, faithfully copying the exact specifications of the original wherever possible. The Joker gives us some indication about a serious message that underlies the amusing artwork, with this warning message: "Quit Junk Food. Make Life Good." As the creator wrote elsewhere during the crowdfunding campaign: "So while you're performing amazing magic, don't forget to rub your bellies and remind yourself to quit junk food." I appreciate this warning about the dangers of eating too much fast food and junk food - a message that today's culture needs to hear. The decks were printed in Taiwan, which is also where industry leaders like Legends Playing Card Company (LPCC) and Expert Playing Card Company (EPCC) produce their cards. The quality of the cards closely corresponds to the Diamond and Master finish used by these manufacturers, and given that the same factory in Taiwan is used for the printing, the look and feel of these cards is almost identical. They have a very firm spring, and are extremely durable. While they don't spread and fan as smoothly as a USPCC deck, they do have a quality embossed finish, and are particularly good for packet cuts, since the cards hold together well. It's not hard to see that a deck like this would be popular, and have a lot of cross-over appeal as a novelty item. It especially appeals to people who are already familiar with the iconic status of the Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards, and who can appreciate how this parody replicates the original. But anyone with a sense of humor can enjoy the amusing court cards and the fast-food spoof that is key to what this deck is about, giving it a broad appeal to card collectors and gamers too. https://preview.redd.it/guu9k8lyb0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fddca43869ab90fa109fa9f3bc6bf879c19982f5 Due to the success of the original project, Hanson Chien was able to produce several special decks and unique packaging options, my favourite being the fast-food style brick box. Since the original campaign, the popularity of the deck has enabled it to be published in a number of other sizes and colours, including a deck with jumbo-sized cards, a limited edition black deck, a limited edition white deck, and a host of Chicken Nuggets themed novelty items. ANOTHER JERRY'S NUGGET Surprisingly, the story of Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards has one final twist. Just like prospecting for gold, in the world of playing cards and collecting, you never know when you're going to find another nugget. In this case, our "prospector" is Hanson Chien, creator of the Chicken Nugget decks, and the unexpected "nugget" that he acquired was a deck of Jerry's Nugget Playing Cards that hails roughly from a similar time as the original decks. The precise date when it was produced hasn't been established with any certainty, but it was produced by the Arrco Playing Card Company in Chicago. More significantly, the artwork has a different look. The artwork and design corresponds to the chips and merchandise used by the Jerry's Nugget Casino at the time when it opened in 1964. The findings were reported by Lee Asher in a 2018 article in Card Culture, the official periodical of 52 Plus Joker The American Playing Card Collectors Club. https://preview.redd.it/49wtcubpb0e51.jpg?width=509&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e2ce1e7100b37ea2992b91b04ac45dc1885c9f3 So is it possible that this is in fact the original Jerry's Nugget deck, and that what we've been describing all along as the "original" deck may in fact have been part of a second wave? Who knows. At any rate, where there's a nugget, perhaps there's a seam of gold to be found in those hills. Hanson saw another opportunity here, and towards the end of 2019, he launched a project to make another version of his Chicken Nugget deck, intended as a homage to this new find. It is a vintage styled version of his Chicken Nugget deck, in the alternative design and colours of the vintage Arrco Playing Card Company Jerry's Nugget deck. Hanson Chien describes it as a remastered version of the Arrco deck, and has marketed it under the label "New Vintage Chicken Nugget". Much like the recreated Vintage Feel Jerry's Nugget decks printed by EPCC, these will have a thinner and firmer card stock. But sometimes the twist in a tale comes back to bite you. Unfortunately for us, at this stage we don't know whether this latest twist will turn out to be a comedy or a tragedy. While the new decks are still being advertised on the Hanson Chien website, albeit with some production delays as a result of the COVID-19 crisis, the Kickstarter project behind the new decks seems to have run into trouble. A few months ago it was reported that this campaign has become the subject of an intellectual property dispute, and the rumour is that it was issued by Jerry's Nugget Casino. This isn't likely to stop the new decks being produced, mind you, given that Hanson runs his own printing company, and he has since successfully run an independent campaign to get them published. Comedy or tragedy? We don't know the final outcome of this latest twist just yet. But certainly the Jerry's Nuggets have provided us with a lot of entertainment along the way, and we can only be glad to see them getting revived interest and attention, and some spiffy new editions that give every collector the chance to add a recreation of this famous deck into their collection at a very affordable cost. https://preview.redd.it/aahdy5nnb0e51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d274a33d2d7cc539d2f64d10d8065982cad4aeec Where to get them?
Thoughts on picking the low hanging fruit of frugality Part 2. Monetization
In part 1 I touched on how to change your mindset to optimize. https://www.reddit.com/leanfire/comments/if7pxw/thoughts_on_picking_the_low_hanging_fruit_of/ If you don't want to read that, it is just basically rethinking the what/where/how of your purchases to make your money go its farthest. I used the example of food since that is the most universal thing for all of us...but it applies to clothes (thrift stores, clearance racks, discount outlets, etc vs. trendy stores buying things in season), cars, housing...virtually anything else you can think of. Part 2 is about actually making money with your frugality rather than trying to spend it the best way possible. I'm not talking about a job or even really a side hustle. I'm talking about making money from the things you need or enjoy and would be doing anyway. Above I mentioned a few things where we can optimize...but, if done right, many of these things can be monetized. Food, for example. If you are someone that enjoys gardening, you can sell your excess produce. If you like some item that is much, much cheaper if bought in bulk, you can sell the excess at a slight profit. If you like to cook, again, you can make extra and sell off the rest for profit. When I say sell, this doesn't have to mean opening a store or a stand or anything elaborate. Just put it out there to your friends and family and see if they are interested in buying your stuff. If that is something that would make you feel awkward, there is always facebook marketplace, craigslist, etc. Nothing that needs to take a lot of time or effort on your part...and the good news is even if you don't sell anything it is something YOU like and will use anyway. Eventually. I end up buying a lot of items in bulk, and often just squirrel it away for myself if I think I'll have a hard time finding that same deal later...but if I'm pretty sure it is repeatable, I'll ask around if anyone ones to take some of it. It is a win, win. They also get something cheaper than they can find elsewhere, and I make a small profit from it. Clothes. I have to admit, this one might be a little harder to monetize unless you are good with sewing and create something you like to wear that you can also sell for a profit. I think most people would find it easier to "flip" clothes. Again, this needs to be something you enjoy...but if you love shopping and buy stuff you'd wear anyway, you have nothing to lose. Thrift stores and clearance racks mean I spend less than $100 a year on clothes. I spend about $20 a year on socks (usually 2 for $1) and t shirts (from $1 - $3) to replace the worn out items that have become thin or full of holes...which then become cleaning rags. cue Elton John singing "The Circle of Life". I also get a cheap pair of sneakers each year that cost about $10 from Walmart to replace the old worn out pair. I also usually buy one nice pair of boots or shoes for less than $15 from clearance if I can find them. Everything else is thrifted or bought on clearance racks. The big stores at the mall will mark things down stupid low rather than send them back for a write off. I routinely find nice shirts/sweaters for between $1 - $5. Some of these are even "designer". Pants/Jeans I never spend more than $5 -$10. I will sometimes find suit jackets at these stores in my price range of $10 and under, too...although that is fairly rare these days. I get most of my Jackets from thrift stores, and really take advantage of the "bag sales" where you can stuff as much in the bag for $10 as you can. Again, don't buy anything you don't like and won't wear anyway. I then take these items to the consignment shops or boutiques that buy designer goods and see what I can get for them. If they offer a good profit I'll sell a few things. If not, there is the same facebook/craigslist option to sell off the excess...and even if nothing sells, you have clothes you like and would wear anyway. Cars. Knowing how little I spend each year, you might expect me to be driving around in an old torn up beater. I have several cars...all are vintage European luxury cars. I buy them at the bottom of the depreciation curve (this usually happens around 15 -20 years...but not always) drive them for a few years with dirt cheap liability only insurance (I keep 3 or 4 insured at a time @ around $15 per month each) while they start to appreciate, then sell them off when the time is right and use that money to buy another car and fund repairs, licensing, etc for the others (usually with good margins left over). Entertainment. We have a lot of Native American land around here, and they all have casinos. The closest one is only about 10 or 15 minutes from my house. Every week they have a free slot tournament, give me a $10 food credit, and give you a free play credit for the slot machines. The amount of the free play varies, but it is usually around $10 -$15 per week. I just run through the free play money and then stop and cash out whatever I've won at that point. Some months are better than others, but so far this month I haven't been real lucky and have only cashed out $28 over the 3 weeks I've gone so far. (the credit this month was $20 per week) I haven't placed in the money in any of the slot tournaments this year, but last year I was in the money twice and got a total of about $700. The food credit is usually enough to cover the buffet which has a nice salad bar, so I can really take advantage of that and get a free day of eating when I go...but of course no buffet right now for obvious reasons. So my only vegan option is a deli wrap, bag of chips, and a drink for my freebie meal. Not a full day of calories like the buffet, but you can't really complain about a free meal. Anyway, this makes for great free entertainment that even pays me a little. Other casinos in the area do similar things, but I usually don't go because most of the others are more like 30 minutes or farther away and simply just aren't as nice as the one I go to each week. Again, this is turning into a very long post...but those are just a few examples of how you can monetize things you'd be using or doing anyway. Please share the things you enjoy that you've been able to monetize or feel free to comment on the things I've mentioned! Thanks for reading such a long post!
That reminds me of a story. After that last one, I thought you might all enjoy a short follow up. After Al, Chuck, Leo, returned to their other lives back in the world, they kept getting requests from various Agencies and Bureaus for more mine closure data, mostly focusing upon lines of documentation. The various Bureaus desired monographs, road guides, technical reports, and most importantly, detailed step-by-step “How To” manuals. My guys, now my fully credentialed doctored colleagues, were predictably reticent to write up “How To” manuals for something that was obviously not of their authorship nor inception. “Fuckin’-A, Rock,” Leo tells me in a phone call, “They want me to fuckin’ basically claim-jump you writing up mine closing procedures. What’s with these goatfuckers? They figured they paid you enough and are now trying to run a goddamned end around? Collective shitheels. No fucking way I’d even think of crossing, even accidently, the Motherfuckin’ Pro from Dover.” I replied that I had no idea, as after the initial contacts after the field season, I had heard precisely dick from any of the bureaus. Which is fine, as I’m busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm getting ready to shift the family some 12,700 kilometers east. I thanked Leo for the intel and told him not to worry, it’s just bureaucracy misfiring at its finest. “Fuckin’-A, Bubba,” replies Leo as he hangs up. It suddenly goes all dusty in my office. “I’ve trained that boy well,” I sniff and chuckle heartily. A short while later, Al wrote me that he’s been contacted by the Bureau/Agency and they are desirous that he lead a field trip with a gaggle of professors from various universities. They are also not all geologists, but Environmental Scientists, Hydrologists, something called an “Environmental Engineer,” and other forms of societal detritus. He tells me that they wanted him to lead a group of these characters out into the desert for a couple of weeks and show them the mine closure procedures which he developed. He was most adamant in assuring me that they contacted him, and that the terminology was also theirs. He was already otherwise engaged, so he naturally had to decline. However, he made it abundantly clear that he would never even entertain such a notion like the one they had posited. I wrote him back, as he was down in Patagonia doing something more or less interesting and/or exciting, thanking him for the information and wishing him well on his expedition. Since he was in the field, I also included a couple of the recipes we enjoyed back in the Nevada desert. He later tells me that the Gauchos he was working with down there have never heard of Pineapple Upside Down Cake and they absolutely were delighted by it. Come to find out, they also like potato juice and citrus drinks as well. “Good ol’ Dr. Good-deed. Aide to all men.” I pondered. I talked with Esme about all this and she was of the opinion that either they knew I was headed east or they wanted me to have some time off. I had been doing a lot of ad hoc work for both Agencies and Bureaus over the last few years. “Of course,” I replied, “Never ascribe to malice what can best be defined by governmental bureaucracy and officiousness.” So, time puttered on. We were holding weekly ‘GROJ (Get Rid Of Junk) sales’ on our weekends. Since everything electrical we possessed was 120 VAC, and the rest of the world, it seems, is 220 VAC, I had to part with all my antiquated electronics. My Fisher Studio-Standard stereo system, Akai reel-to-reel 16-track tape machines, EMI TG12345 MK IV recording console, and Harmon-Kardon turntables and amplifiers. It was painful. However, I rationalized, if I were to stick them in storage for a decade or two, I’d have re-paid for them via rental fees a couple or three times over. Plus, and all that sitting unused in a storage locker certainly wouldn’t be good for these vintage electronical gizmos. Still, it was a painful time to pack them into the back of someone else’s vehicle. I had to take all my firearms to my Brother-in-Law for safekeeping. Since he’s in Kentucky, he was both happy to accept and vowed to give them regular workouts. Even though he’s some form or another of mechanical engineer, I guess I could trust him. One day, the home phone rings. It’s Chuck and he’s livid. “Rock!” he hollers, “You know what those chapped bastards at the Bureau want from me? They want me to step in on your turf, and take a clan of idiot pseudo-geologists out in the field for a couple of weeks and train them in mine closing. Can you fucking believe that?” “Chuck,,” I say, “Whoa. Cool down. Leo and Al report the same, so it just looks like you were next on the list. So, going to take them up on their offer?” “Don’t make me laugh, Doc!” Chuck asks, “First: I’m busy. Second: I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea how to handle logistics, camping, explosives, and all that other bureaucratic horseshit you somehow put up with. Third: I really don’t want a midnight visit from you and your bag of tricks because I’ve pissed you off by taking credit for what’s rightfully yours.” “What is the fucking deal?” I ask Chuck, “I’m not like that at all. Everyone thinks I’m going go out and frag them because the Bureau asks them to do a job I did previously. Damn, I’m the most laid-back, gregarious, and even-tempered person on the planet; and I’ll mutilate the miserable manky motherfucker that says I’m not.” Chuck laughs nervously. “Hyperbole aside,” I continue, “It’s just that they know I’m headed out to the Middle East and don’t want to bother me right now; I suppose.” “Umm, Rock,” Chuck clears his thought, and gulps, “That’s not the reason they told me.” “Is that a fact?” I ask, “What did they give as a reason?” “Now, Rock, don’t take this wrong. This is Bureau-speak, not me,” Chuck wants to make the point vodka-clear, “But they felt you were the wrong person to lead this group of ‘scholars’. They were concerned with your…” Hesitation. “Spill it, Chuck,” I say. “Demeanor,” Chuck says, “Your conduct, your deportment, your behavior…” “I see someone got a Thesaurus for Christmas,” I said. “Rock, that’s them, not me,” Chuck continues, “They said you are too ‘wild and wooly’ to conduct this field expedition of ‘noted scholars’.” “Is that a fact?” I ask, rhetorically. “Just reporting to you what they told me, Bossman.” Chuck offers. “I appreciate it, Chuck. Thanks.” I reply, “Don’t sweat it. I’ll take it from here.” You could hear an audible expression of relief when we broke connection. After a couple of cocktails, I had simmered down a bit. Esme says that I need to call my Agency buddies and get the lowdown on the situation, as they’ll know what’s going on. For once, Esme is also very, very pissed off about the whole situation. Mama Bear’s claws were getting sharpened. “You are gone for months,” Es exclaims, “Train a bunch of greenhorns, exceed project requirements by over 200%, supply crucial scientific data on forensic activities, and take out a disaster they didn’t even know existed in that mine with the locker full of explosives!” “Yeah,” I reply, “Does seem a wee bit unappreciative.” “And then they pull this kind of shit!,” Es yells further, “Those ungrateful bastards. Fuck ‘em. Let them stew in their own futility. They call and you tell them to get stuffed. After all you did for them…” “Now, now, Dearest,” say, “Let me call Rack and Ruin. If anyone has the skinny on all this, they’ll have all the latest dope.” “Bastards!,” Es cries, “You damn near get killed several times over and this is their thanks?” “Yeah, I know, Darling,” I say, “Does seems a bit ungrateful and duplicitous.” Esme hands me the phone. “Phone. Call. Now.” She orders. Looks like I just got my marchin’ orders. “Yes, my love,” I reply. Even I know when I’m out-matched. RING RING RING Agent Rack answers and we go through the usual pleasantries… “What the flying fuck you mean ‘I’m too dangerous’?” I question Agent Rack. “Well, Doctor,” Rack tries to explain, “Your ‘cavalier’ attitude towards explosives. More of your ‘relationship’ with them. Not showing the proper deference…” “WHAT?,” I roar, “Ask anyone that has worked with me in the field! ‘Safety first, last, and foremost’. Just that I don’t fret and quail around explosives like a bunch of phonophobic, jumped-up, wet-pantied shuddering schoolgirls, when I have to demolish something, doesn’t mean I’m anything other than a goddamned consummate professional.” “Plus, Doctor, ” Rack continues, “It’s not the 1880’s any longer. A Stetson? A sidearm? A .454 Casull Magnum at that…” “You have got to be yanking my crank here, Rack.” I angrily reply, as I really hate it when someone calls me Doctor like that, “The hat keeps the sun off my head so I don’t get addled like those fuckers you’re talking with at the Bureau. The sidearm is for safety. Oh, yes; there’s that word again. It’s a fucking tool, just like my Estwing hammers or my galvanometer.” “Can’t kill anyone with a galvanometer,” Rack replies. “But I could with a hammer, myriad ways” I reply, “And give me five minutes, I’d figure out a way to ‘extract’ someone with a galvanometer...” “Doctor, do let me let you talk with Agent Ruin; I’m needed elsewhere,,” he tells me. Agent Ruin takes the phone. It’s the old Agency Two-Step. “Doctor is distraught,” he observes. “No, ‘Doctor’ is just plain damned mad.” I reply, “They contract me for a job that has never been attempted before and I complete it beyond their wildest expectations! This is my recompense?” “Well, Doctor,” Ruin continues, “I’m sure it’s strictly a business decision. It’s obviously nothing personal.” “It sure as fuck sounds personal,” I gripe back, as now I’ve gone from annoyed to genuinely pissed off, “I’m surprised they didn’t say something derogatory about my Hawaiian shirts.” “Oh, they did,” Agent Ruin lets slip. “Oh? OK, Fine. That’s is then,” I reply, “The joyfulness of this whole experience has left the building. Tell them to strike me from their fucking list. I’m done with them. I wash my hands of them. I’m off east anyways. Fuck that bunch of paper-pushing, deskbound, pencil-necked dickheads. Fuck them. Fuck them solid. Fuck them ‘till they bleed.” “Strong message to follow,” I add. “Doctor,” Agent Ruin reminds me, “Do I need to remind you that all our conversations are recorded?” “Oh, fuck no. I know that. So fucking what?” I growl, “Like I’m going to get tossed in Guantanamo for expressing a personal opinion? I can still do that in this fine country. Or has the First Amendment been repealed in my absence?” “Doctor, you’re obviously agitated,’ Ruin adds, “Perhaps we’ll talk again later when you’ve calmed down before you head to the Middle East.” “Yeah, about that,” I reply, “You shady characters can cross me off your fucking list as well. You’ve done nothing for me on this latest concern. Nothing! You couldn’t even give me the courtesy of a motherfucking heads-up. Guess that tells me all I need to know about the future of our relationship. Goodbye, Agent Ruin. Give Agent Rack my ‘Da Svidonya. I won’t be answering your calls any longer. “Doctor, I, um, wait…”Agent Ruin sputters. I continue: “And as long as I’m at it, tell that other Bureau to go hang as well. They want more data or shit from me, tell them to go find it elsewhere. And also tell them good luck with that. The three experts that exist in the world apart from me already told them to get bent. At least they possess loyalty and a dollop of comradeship. I’ll be shipping your phone and other items back via parcel post. Hasta la vista, Herr Ruin. Have a day.” CLICK-KER -FUCKING-SMASH! I hang up in the rudest way possible. “Clapped-out assholes,” I muse. “All those years of working together. All those years of building relationships around the world. It’s all kyboshed over a fucking Hawaiian shirt. I guess it was inevitable. Either I became too specialized or evolved myself out of being useful to them. Ah, well, their loss. Can’t be helped…” I take a healthy swig right from the prime vodka bottle. OK, several. “FUCKERS!” I scream at the wood-paneled ceiling, shaking my fist in vehement rage at the clouds coolly cruising by outside my window. Esme doesn’t come running. She doesn’t have to. She knows the score. I ship the Agency’s toys back to them with a terse note: “Thanks for all the nothing. Here’s your shit back. Dr. Rocknocker. PS: Get stuffed.” Not my best effort, I’ll agree. However, I was really pissed at that point. Now I have the time to devote solely to relocating my family and I overseas. Gad, there’s so much crap one must go through. What to sell, what goes in storage, what to trash, what to give away…the lists are endless. First to go are all my power tools. Fuckbuckets. It took me decades to amass that collection. I got a good price, sure, but now I’m more or less without a hobby. We decide to put all Esme’s lapidary equipment in storage. It’s too specialized to generate much interest, much less a decent price. Besides, they won’t rot in our absence. I can ship my fishing gear and golf clubs overseas. They’re American, but at least not 120 VAC. Our house goes on the market and we have to get it spiffed to within an inch of its life. Got to have that ‘curb appeal’. Good, let someone else do it, I’m busy. More unexpected expense. I give our house contractors out in New Mexico their marching orders. It’s going slow and will be a seasonal thing, but they guarantee me the house will be ready by next summer if they can source the slabs of Baraboo Quartzite I want. Splendid, that’s something I don’t have to follow up on every day. Then there’s our aquarium. 250 gallons of treated Houston water, loaded with native Texan fish and a couple of cranky Jack Dempseys. All the gear, filters, pumps, water polishers, heaters, treaters, all of it. Has to go. My ex-Utah Mormon drinking buddy down the road expresses interest. I basically let him have it gratis on the one condition he takes everything, fish included. He has to keep the fish alive and happy their entire lives. I’ve raised some from minnows and have grown attached to a couple of the gaspergou and a certain smallmouth bass with those big brown eyes… Digger, my stalwart mechanic, is going to purchase my truck. It’s a bittersweet parting, but at least I know it’ll have a great home. Digger is going to use it as both his personal truck and his company’s hot-shot vehicle for pick-up and delivery of everything from batteries to full drivetrains. I know the vehicle will be in good hands. Our Land Rover is up for grabs. Few are interested, though; buyer’s market. It’s a couple of years old and has lots of miles, due to Houston being so stupid-big. I order an extra-large bottle of AstroGlide as I know I’m going to be taking it up the ass on this one… Finally, our pets. Reluctantly, I’ve agreed to take the cat. It’s a stupid little feline that I figure we can just toss in a suitcase and drag it with us overseas. No, I guess we’ll get a cat-carrier and figure it out with the airlines. Then there’s Lady. 135 kilos of dopey puppy. She’s getting up in years, as well, especially for a giant breed. Luckily, overseas we’ll be living on a Western compound. So if we go through all the rigmarole of quarantine, getting her a ‘pet passport’, and shipping via a specialist service, Lady can bark at the tenets of pre-Islam (dogs really aren’t haram), and actually join us in our new home. This is going to cost a fortune, but I don’t care. She’s an integral part of the family, she is going to join us. I find a Pet Relocation Service and begin the masses of insane paperwork. It’s an ‘all-in’ service, basically door-to-door. But do not be deluded, they charge every micrometer of the way. Vaccinations, chipping (she already was fitted with an RFID chip), booking, boarding, securing vet services, obtaining health certificates, securing import permits, dealing with all issues related to customs clearance, interacting with foreign agents, supplying IATA approved crates, and obtaining Municipality tags registration for new arrivals. Gonna cost me a couple-three-four kilobucks. Worth every penny. Esme, the kids and I are working on beginning packing, tossing this, wrapping that, sentimentalizing over the other thing when we get a ring at the door. It’s a bonded courier. He has a package for me. It’s of the size that would contain about 6-months’ worth of Playboy magazines, and has no external address. I sign for the thing and walk back to the kitchen. “What you got there, Rock?” Es asks. “Not sure,” I reply, “But it came via bonded courier.” “Well, open it,” Es smiles. She loves surprises. I do so and it’s a series of articles, re-prints, and other information regarding Nevada, mine closures, and the Mine Closure Act. There’s also a number of newspaper and magazine clippings that had been photo-copied into a dozen-page document. All of them, write-ups and reviews from different newspapers, house organs, and journals citing my work with the guys out in the field. I open it further and there’s a personal note from Dr. Sam Muleshoe, and a certified check, made out in my name. Seems I was correct. After exhausting their leads with Al, Leo, and Chuck, they have spent near a month trying to find someone to take over the project. “To fill my shoes,” as Dr. Sam Muleshoe notes. They came up totally empty. “Told ya’ so.” I gloated. Esme smiles a wide schadenfreude-fueled smile. I look at the check. It’s plenty healthy, but not superhero strength. I show Es and she laughs out loud. “So,” Es whoops, “They think they can get back in your good graces by buying you off? Hah! Fat chance,” she says and regards the check, “Hell. They’re not even close.” I agree with Esme passionately. I write a quick, hand-scribbled note to Dr. Muleshoe, thanking him for the information. I give several options, some admittedly anatomically impossible, regarding what he can do with the check and the Bureau’s offer. I wrap it back up with duct-tape, call the courier service, and return it to Reno, COD. A couple of days later, I receive a phone call. Surprise, surprise, it’s from Reno. “Rock, it’s Reno!,” Es tells me. I shake my head “no!” slicing my hand through the air in the head-chop mime. “Tell him I’ve gone bush in darkest Outer Albania and you have no idea when I’ll be back,” I say. Esme looks a bit sheepish, as we can hear the phone remark: “I can hear you, you know.” “Fuckbuckets,” I think, “OK, hand me the rap-rod.” “Yeah?” I growl, very grizzly-like into the infernal communication device. “Hello, Rock. This is Sam Muleshoe,” the phone reports. “Damn,” I exclaim, “I guess you characters can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Which word fucking confused you?” “Rock, what’s the god damned deal?,” Sam asks innocently, “Why all the bloody hostility?” “Oh, double-fuck me!” I say metaphorically, “Don’t act like you don’t know. Try and snake the latest field mine closing job out from under me and try to snag my guys. Then, when that fails, give some sort of bullshit report to Rack and Ruin. You think I’m ‘too cavalier’, too “wild and wooly’, and think I’m some goddamned 19th-century throwback that loves horrible Hawaiian shirts…” “Doc?,” Sam asks, “Are you currently fucking drunk? What the actual fuck are you rabbeting on about?” “Sam, I’m stone-cold fucking sober,” I reply, “Yeah. I know, that’s a first. But listen here Scooter. You must have balls of brass trying to sweet-talk me into running another field course after all you did…” “Rock,” Sam pleads, “Please, believe me, I have no idea what you’re on about. Can we talk and maybe figure this thing out?” “No!,” I holler, “I’m done talking with the likes of your Bureau. Nothing you can do or say to rebuild the bridges they’ve burned with me.” “OK,” he says, “Doct…, err, Rock, buddy. Calm your tits. Give me the Reader’s Digest version. I’ll look into it, because I have absolutely no idea what this is all about. This really sounds serious, with fuck-up overtones. Trust me, I’m serious as the last cold can of beer on a field trip.” “Marvelous.” I say, “I guess I owe you that much. Professional courtesy. At least one of us has the grit to employ some.” So, I run through the tale of the travails of Al, Chuck, and Leo. Then my little difference of opinion with Agents Rack, Ruin, and the Agency. Plus my severing of ties with both that Agency out on the east coast and the Bureaus in the great American Southwest. “Doctor,” Sam says intently, “I know it’s going to be difficult, but I swear on a box of your finest cigars with a vodka chaser that I didn’t know anything about all this nor did it come from this office. Por favor señor, let me do some digging. I’ll be back in touch.” “Sam,” I say, thinking over the situation, “Yeah…I must apologize for my previous outbursts. I should have known you’re not behind this idiocy. Yeah, go do some fossicking. Let me know what you dig up. Again, sorry. I was a bit…animated.” “Rock,” Sam chuckles, “Do you think that I’d dare anger someone like you? You must think I’ve got a serious case of cranial lithification to cheese-off the Motherfucking Pro from Dover!” At this point, I knew that Sam was also only collateral damage; he too was caught in the crossfire. Ground zero for the original attacks lie elsewhere within the Bureau. Esme and I go back to preparing for our trip coming up in 2 months. But Jesus Q. Christwagons, there’s so much to do. Everything you own; it gets packed, stored, or trashed. It’s the decisions that get so tiring. Keep. Toss. Sell. Burn. Leave on someone’s doorstep. I propose to Es that we just do the basic necessities. Then we hire some firm to finish up for us. It’d be worth the cost since just think what we’d be saving on aspirin and Ace Bandages. Esme readily backs the idea that we should turn the job over to someone else. Plus in the interim, we can take a trip back home to Baja Canada so the kids could visit their grandparents, we visit our family, and all of us could cool out a bit before the big trip east. I need to drop by Big Ray’s Tap for a few hours/days anyways. Old commitments. We’d go the beginning of our last month here in the States, spend a couple of weeks visiting family at home, leave the kids with the grandparents to get spoiled rotten. Es and I would return to Houston to finalize everything. Then Es and I would fly from Houston to that damn sprawling annoyance of an airport on the big lake in Illinoise. The family would meet us there, handover the kids, and we’d all haul ass eastwards to the Middle East. I readily agreed. Anything has to be better than dealing with this crapola. Lady and the stupid cat would go to the pet schleppers a little early. Sure, it’d cost a few more dinars, but that’s one big headache sorted. So, late one afternoon, I’m sitting in my office, trying to figure out exactly what reference works I couldn’t live without. Compton’s? Save. Field Guide to Fungus? Toss. No, wait a minute. Could prove useful. That’s why this is taking forever. The phone rings. It’s Sam. “Hello, Sam,” I say, “What news?” “Goddamn it all to fucking hell and back,” Sam roars. “That’s a unique greeting,” I reply. “I finally drilled down to the bottom of all this horseshit.,” Sam replies, “And it’s a real bowl of fuck all the way south.” “I’m listening,” I say, “Actually, Sam, hold on. I need a drink. Moment.” I give Es the high sign, note it’s Sam on the phone, and that I’ll be in my office if she hears any screaming. I amp up my drink and return to my office, closing the door behind me. Lady is here, waiting to keep my feet warm. “OK Sam, your nickel,” I say, “What’s the scoop?” “Would you believe?,” he begins, “That all batshittery this came from accounting and bookkeeping?” “Well,” I reply, “I’ll have to admit that I’m not overly surprised.” “Yeah,” Sam continues, “I was off on holiday. My first two weeks off after 5 years. My very temporary replacement received a memo from the head of the Bureau that there was great interest in you leading a shortened version of your last trip to demonstrate to a bunch of different university PhDs in the care and feeding of abandoned mines. Seems the Bureau Chief was very impressed with what you and your team accomplished.” “OK,” I reply, “With you so far. So, where did things get wrapped around a tractor’s nuts?” “Right,” he replies, “Here’s where things first went off the rails. Whoever vetted the list of potential attendees sorted the list alphabetically, not by field of expertise. Of course, the obvious first choice would be for geologists; especially those with mining, field, and blasting experience.” “Ah,” I replied, “No wonder it was such a miscellaneous bunch of baloney-loaf whole-grain enviro-types that Al had mentioned.” “Yep,” Sam agreed, “But before anyone with any brains got sight of that list, some fucknuts in the Bureau’s University Liaison department sent out invitations.” “Invitations?” I asked, “To what?” “That’s just the thing,” Sam continued, “They sent out invites to a program that didn’t yet exist, run by someone who had yet to be contacted, much less secured.” “Oh, hey! That’s some good work you guys do down there.” I snort. “Indeed,” Sam agrees, “So once that hit the mail, we started getting back replies and acceptances.” “And there was no project, no leader, no logistics…?” I asked. “No shit,” Sam scoffs. “So, what did these idiots here do? Contact the attendees and explain the problem. Take a little flack, but get it sorted out then try again?” “Let me guess,” I said, “No?” “Nope,” Sam sighs, “By that time, it was in the works and in the hands of accountants.” “Oh, fuck,” I commiserated. “I feel your pain.” “Yeah,” Sam continues, “They see that you’re the hookin’ bull on the last one and they dig into your contract. They figure, ‘Whoa, he’s way too expensive, just look at these expense accounts’, so they do an end-around and contact your colleagues.” “Al, Chuck, and Leo. They’re damn good guys,” I said, “Fine field scientists, all. But I don’t think any of them have the moxie or experience yet to run a whole field course.” “These accounting shitheads never bothered to find out,” Sam groans, “It was all ‘bottom line’, so you got caught in the squeeze.” “OK,” I reply, “I see how that happened, but what about all the shit about me being a 19th-century throwback, that I’m unsafe, wear horrible Hawaiian shirts, and all that shit?” “Comedy of bloody errors,” Sam says, “Actually, the Bureau Chief likes your fashion sense; you should see some of his shirts. But your slime campaign was based on unreliable evidence, tall tales, folklore, and outright fabrications. It was easy to pimp someone with a personality like yours, it’s been said. Someone was trying desperately to cover his ass. However, we have identified the perpetrator.” “Next time I’m in Reno,” I said, “I’ll pay him a friendly little visit and arrange his transport to Neptune. One way. Y’know, it’d be easy for someone with a ‘personality like mine’.” “Ah, yeah. He won’t be here,” Sam says, “In fact, we don’t know where the hell he went. He was immediately sacked, as were a couple of the more boneheaded accountants.” “That’s redundant,” I smirk, “They really don’t want to talk with or see me anytime soon.” “Right, then Rock,” Sam says, “We green again?” “Yeah, Sam,” I reply, “Sure. Green as a New Saigon. But you’ve got to call Rack and Ruin for me. You have to let them know how this whole clusterfuck came to be. We had some words a while back.” “Oh, yeah,” Sam remembers, “I talked with them the other day. They said they’ll be in Houston in a couple of days.” “Cor! Just what I fucking need right now,” I lament. “Ah, it is what it is.” “OK, Rock. Now, back to reality. You interested?” Sam asks. “Send me a JD (job description) and the project particulars. The price of poker’s really going up this time, Sam. Stratospheric. Sorry, it’s all just business.” I relate. “Yeah…,” Sam sighs, “I figure we’ll really owe you if you can drag our ass out of the campfire on this one.” “You have no idea,” I chuckle. We exchange farewells and ring off. Now I have some talking to do with my significant other. Since we were all set to go back to Baja Canada, I could use those two weeks to go to Nevada, if necessary. I can be back in Houston with Es for the last two weeks before we’re slated to travel, and we can sort out the house. “This won’t be an easy sell,” I muse, before chatting with my darling, brilliant, and ever-so-forgiving partner. “I’ll need a drink first”, I declare. Esme notes that it would be nice to have a little spare cash with us when we move overseas. You could have dropped me with a Claymore. Es never fails to flummox me. So, provisional OK from the powers that be. Now all I have to do is wait on Sam’s prospectus. The next day, the doorbell rings. It’s Agents Rack and Ruin. One is holding a box of very expensive cigars, and one is holding a bottle of very expensive bourbon. I turn to Es and remark, “Look here, darlin’. Geeks bearing gifts.” “Hello, Doctor,” Rack says, bristling, “We need to talk. “ “Why?” I ask, “I do seem to recall that I’m no longer associated with you people any longer.” “Doctor,” Agent Ruin cocks his head contritely, bowing ever so slightly, “May we please have a moment of your time?” I look to Es. She shrugs her shoulders. Luckily I’m partial to Es’ opinion. I am also partial to good bourbon and cigars, especially when someone else is paying for them. So I shrug my shoulders as well and tell them to make entry. “My office, “ I say, “You know the way. Mind the boxes.” Once in my office, the Agents stack their offerings and go on in great detail, basically collaborating Sam’s story. I remain steadfast and stony as the Harney Peak Granite of Mr. Rushmore fame. I’m not giving anything away any longer. “Well, Doctor,” Agent Ruin finalizes, “That’s the story, warts and all.” “Yep, it is pretty warty,” I agree, “So?” “We would like to rekindle our relationship,” Agent Rack reports, “These are for starters.” He hands me the cigars and booze; plus another box. “Thanks,” I say, “But just because I accept your peace offerings, that doesn’t mean we’re going to turn back the clock.” “What are you suggesting?” Agent Ruin asks. “No more consulting,” I reply, “I want in. The ‘Full Monty’, as it were. If I’m going overseas and work for some twitchy Middle Eastern sandpit’s national oil company, I want perks, tabs, and my ass duly covered.” “Work two full-time jobs simultaneously?” Agent Rack asks. “However you want to structure it,” I say, “No more consulting. From here on out, you want me, you’re making me a full-fledged full-timer.” Agents Rack and Ruin look at each other, enquiringly. “Doctor,” Agent Rack replies, “We are prepared to offer you an ad hoc Agency appointment. You will be fully attached but you will be also doing your full-time job in the other country.” “I’m listening. Tell me more,” I ask, “What exactly are you offering?” “Full access to all pertinent information,” Agent Ruin continues, “Full entrée to appropriate facilities and, um, assets. Security for you and your family in case of, well, shall; we say, ‘difficulties’. Monthly minimum payment of [$$$] to any non-US bank of your choice. Extra duties would be duly compensated. Top clearances. An enhanced potential payment package, bonus possibilities, and full benefits for you.” “Full benefits for me and my family,” I say, “Or there’s the door. Non-negotiable” I point out. “Very well. That had been anticipated.” Agent Rack replies. “Gentlemen,” I say, “Let us shake on what I hope turns out to be a beautiful relationship.” We shake hands and I sign my life away. I’m really in it now, up to my neck. I have to learn to shut up more and just listen. “Now, gents,” I say, “In order to seal the deal, let us break out the drinking stuff you’ve brought along. We will also smoke together so that we will know there will be no lies or deceit between us.” “Also anticipated, Doctor,” both agents agree. My ‘new’ old colleagues prepare to leave a while later, after a cigar, and far too much of what was a full bottle of expensive gift booze. They always get you in the end. Contained within the other small box were my new Agency credentials, updated version satellite phone, secure codes, and a nifty new Swiss Army Knife, with a built-in cigar cutter. With renewed dedication and expectations all ‘round, Agents Rack and Ruin take their leave. They hope to be able to meet me and the family, remember, they are Uncles Rack and Ruin, overseas one day in the not too distant future. My information, further updated cards, registration, and all that official business guff will come to the specific Middle Eastern country’s US Embassy for me once we arrive and get settled. “Marvelous,” I muse. I receive an Email from Dr. Muleshoe explaining what we talked about and his hopes for my stickhandling a ‘quick’ 2-week field excursion for the approximately 15 Ph.D. types from around North America. Seems there’s a couple of Canadians and one Mexican professor that expressed desires to join. They had actually forwarded funds to be included in our number. Sam suggests I drive out in my truck and proceed as per the last trip. Get the trailer, fill it with noisemakers, and the Bureau would sort out transportation and lodging for the attendees. Seems some want to camp, like real geologists, and some want to lodge in hotels, like real non-geologists. I write Sam back: First item: this is a 2-week sojourn into the desert. It’s a field meeting, emphasis on the field, not a tour of Nevada’s many fine hotels, resorts, and casinos. Item two: I no longer possess my truck. The Bureau will provide me with the appropriate vehicular equivalent. No passengers, this will be the Camp Chief truck from the onset. Besides, I am the only one licensed to drive the vehicle when coupled to an explosives-laden trailer. Item three: I will be flown to and from Reno from Houston. No buses, trains, or automobiles. It’s business class or zilch. Item the fourth: the Bureau will source the necessary support logisticians to provide food, drink, and toilet paper for the 16 professionals while we are in the field. They will also need to provide cooks, dishwashers, camp tidiers, and the like as I don’t have time to deal with 15 potentially field-fresh, whiny waterhead PhDs. Item the fifth: The Bureau will provide for all pre- and post-trip handling of participants. They can handle hotel rooms for the early arrivers or late-stayers. They can manage arrivals, registration, signing of necessary documents, and assuring vaccination records are up to snuff, waivers are signed, etc. They will also handle the transportation of participants to/from and during the field project, when and where necessary. Item the sixth: I include a new version of my contract. Force Majeure, ‘Take or Pay’ clause. Door to door coverage. Plus my, ahem, augmented day rate. Absolutely non-negotiable. Item seven: I have final say over what is done in the field. I am in command, the boss, the head cheese, the head honcho, and I require absolute discipline, especially where explosives are concerned. “My way or the highway” will be the theme of the trip. Gain, non-negotiable. To be continued.
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[USA-NJ] [H] Games for lots of systems, many loose boxes and manuals, Amiibo & collectibles [W] Various games, boxes and manuals including Infinite Space, Trine Series 1-3, Flinthook, Octopath Traveler
Hi all, I have two things I'm looking for at the moment: 1) some boxes, manuals and loose games to complete some games I currently have incomplete, and 2) some high value games for various consoles that are my priority wants right now. In cases where I am looking for incomplete stuff, I may also be willing to trade for complete stuff. I will try to describe everything I have as best I can, and pictures are either linked or available on request. In turn, I am looking for items that are complete and in good shape, but I am somewhat flexible with cardboard box games. Also, some of the items I have for trade are hard trades, so please do not be offended if I turn down a fair value trade. p.s. I have 70+ confirmed trades! p.p.s. when I say CIB I mean Complete in Box, that includes all booklets, not just manual. If something I have is not complete I will try to communicate that. On the flip side, if you have something and you are not sure if it is complete, I am happy to check for you!
HAVES
NES
Original game pad
Original orange zapper
Blaster Master - game only
Casino Kid - game only
Dr Mario - game only
Empire Strikes Back - LRG reissue trading card #561
Q-bert - game only
RC Pro Am - game only
Star Tropics - CIB, letter is still attached to manual!
Mario Kart 64 - manual, operations card and player's guide offer booklet
Mario Party 2 - manual
Mario Tennis - manual
Rugrats Scavenger Hunt - manual
Star Wars Episode 1 Battle for Naboo - manual (has marker on top right)
Super Mario 64 - manual
Yoshi's Story - manual and operations card
Zelda Ocarina of Time - manual
GameCube
Army Men Air Combat The Elite Missions - game and manual only
Lego Star Wars - CIB
Lego Star Wars II - CIB
Ribbit King with bonus disc - CIB
Superman Shadow of Apokolips - CIB, also have a Nintendo Power poster to go with it
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - manual only
Action Replay - manual only
Wii almost all of this Wii stuff is pending a local deal
Late model console with Wii Sports / Wii Sports Resort combo disc, nearly complete in a worn box, not GameCube-compatible (ask for more info)
ABC Wipeout 2 - CIB
Battalion Wars 2 - CIB
Boom Blox Bash Party - CIB
Elebits - CIB
Ghost Squad - CIB
Ghostbusters - NIB
Hello Kitty Seasons - CIB
Link's Crossbow Training - disc and manual in cardboard sleeve
Metroid Other M - CIB
Nights Journey of Dreams - CIB
Press Your Luck 2010 Edition - CIB
Rayman Raving Rabbids - CIB
Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party - CIB
Star Wars the Force Unleashed - CIB
Super Paper Mario - box and manual
Wii Fit Plus - CIB (no balance board)
Zhu Zhu Pets Featuring the Wild Bunch - CIB
2 Blasters + Game big box NIB (game download no longer works) (these blasters are attachments for Wiimotes to make them into pistols, great accessory IMO)
Wii U
007 Legends - NIB
NintendoLand - box, manual and booklets
Switch
Azure Striker Gunvolt Striker Pack - NIB
Cosmic Star Heroine - NIB
Danmaku Unlimited 3 - NIB with card
Downwell - NIB
Freedom Planet - LRG trading card
Gekido Kintaro’s Revenge - CIB
Giga Wrecker Alt - LRG trading card with gold foil
Korg Gadget - NIB
Mutant Mudds Collection - CIB (crease on slipcover) with loose cards
Oxenfree - NIB
PixelJunk Monsters 2 - NIB
Rive - SRG trading cards only sealed
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse - NIB
Snake Pass - SRG trading cards only sealed
Splasher - NIB
The Adventure Pals - NIB with sealed cards
The Darkside Detective - NIB with sealed cards, hard trade
The Escapists - NIB
The Flame in the Flood - partially NIB with sealed cards and sticker (missing outer bag)
PowerA Premium Game Card Case red Super Mario M - NIB
LRG trading card for Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
LRG trading card for Slime San
LRG trading card for Toejam and Earl
Puyo Puyo Tetris CIB or NIB with target exclusive decals
Octopath Traveler CIB
The Messenger CIB or NIB
PowerA game carrying case (black and gold Zelda style, blue Zelda style)
Switch Lite screen protector
Switch Lite carrying case
3DS
Codename STEAM - CIB or NIB
Etrian Odyssey Untold soundtrack bundle - CIB
Frogger 3D - CIB big box version with cover plates
LEGO Chima Laval's Journey - CIB or NIB with minifigure
Radiant Historia launch edition - big box contents or CIB
DS
Bomberman Land Touch - CIB
Bomberman Land Touch 2 - CIB
Cooking Mama's Combo Pack Volume 1 - CIB
Dokapon Journey - CIB
Elektroplankton - Nintendo Power insert
Etrian Odyssey 3 - CIB
Final Fantasy Fables Chocobo Tales - registration card
Harvest Moon DS - box, manual, all inserts
Infinite Space - game only
Izuna Legend of the Unemployed Ninja - CIB
Jewel Time Deluxe - box, manual
Korg DS10+ JP Limited Edition - CIB
Korg M01 JP - Club Nintendo insert
Magician’s Quest Mysterious Times - CIB
Maplestory DS Korean version - CIB
Master of Illusion - big box with outer inserts (I have the inner box complete and the trading cards in their box)
Metal Slug 7 - CIB with poster
Nanostray - CIB
Phantasy Star 0 - CIB
Plants vs Zombies - CIB big box version with ugly peashooter stylus
Pokemon Conquest - CIB
Robocalypse - game only
Shepherd's Crossing 2 - CIB
Space Invaders Extreme 2 - CIB
The Dark Spire - CIB with soundtrack
Wappy Dog - CIB or NIB with dog
GBA
Astro Boy Omega Factor - box, manual, all inserts
Car Battler Joe - manual
Drill Dozer - A Girl and Her Dozer Mini Comic (the one I have is ripped)
Final Fight One - box, manual, all inserts
Fire Emblem - loose or CIB
Fire Emblem the Sacred Stones - loose or CIB
Gunstar Super Heroes - box, manual, all inserts
Klonoa 2 Dream Champ Tournament - box, manual, all inserts
Mario Party-e - CIB
Mega Man Battle Chip Challenge - box, manual, all inserts
Metroid Zero Mission - box, manual, all inserts
Phantasy Star Collection - CIB
Sonic Advance + Sonic Pinball Party - box, manual, all inserts
Tales of Phantasia - box, manual, all inserts
Warioland 4 - box, manual, all inserts
Zone of the Enders the Fist of Mars - box, manual, all inserts
GBC
Kirby Tilt n Tumble - box, manual, all inserts
Legend of the River King - box, manual, all inserts
Legend of the River King 2 - box, manual, all inserts
Metal Gear Solid - box, manual, all inserts
Pocket Bomberman - box, all inserts (I have the manual)
Shantae - loose or CIB (fat chance I know)
Super Mario Bros Deluxe - box, manual, all inserts
Worms Armageddon - registration card, also might need a Nintendo Power booklet
Zelda Oracle of Ages / Seasons - boxes, manuals, all inserts
GB
Clamshell plastic case for silver Game Boy Pocket (I have the console, manual, and consumer safety booklet)
Harvest Moon - registration card, Nintendo Power booklet
Ninja Boy 2 - CIB
Pokemon Yellow - CIB
Tetris - box, manual, all inserts
TMNT Fall of the Foot Clan - box, manual, all inserts
Wii
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - CIB
The Last Story - soundtrack in sleeve
GameCube
Army Men Air Combat the Elite Missions - box
Baten Kaitos Origins - CIB
Mega Man Network Transmission - CIB
Mega Man X Command Mission - CIB with trading card
Metal Gear Solid the Twin Snakes - CIB
Phantasy Star Online Episode 1 and 2 Plus - CIB
Smuggler's Run War Zones - box
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures - CIB
N64
N64 Expansion Pack with tool to open expansion slot, or Donkey Kong 64 box, tray, manual, etc with expansion pack included
Star Fox 64 box, tray, manual, etc. (I already have game and rumble pack)
SNES
Mario Paint - CIB
NES
Freedom Force - box, manual, etc
Gumshoe - box, manual, etc
Hogan's Alley - box, manual, etc
Mechanized Attack - box, manual, etc
RC Pro Am - box, manual, etc
Space Shuttle Project - box, manual, etc
Super Mario Bros / World Class Track Meet / Duck Hunt - box, manual, etc
Wild Gunman - box, manual, etc
PS3
Disgaea D2: A Brighter Darkness - disc
PS2
Godzilla Save the Earth - manual
Gradius 3 and 4 - CIB
Naval Ops Warship Gunner - manual
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 - black label disc
River King a Wonderful Journey - disc
PSX
Army Men: World War - disc only
Konami Justifier Lightgun(s)
Amiibo
Poochy loose
SSB Isabelle loose or NIB
Soundtracks
Club Nintendo Sound Selection 2: Loud Music
Club Nintendo Sound Selection 3: B-Side Music
Out Run (vinyl or CD box set)
Strategy Guides
Pokemon Sword / Shield
Super Mario RPG (Nintendo Power)
Zelda Oracle of Ages / Seasons (Nintendo Power)
I may also be willing to buy items in my wantlist. And if you see something you like of mine that you would rather buy than trade for, let me know and I will make a GameSale post.
Anyone running a campaign knows the thrill of shopping episodes, and lining the streets of their cyberpunk metropolis with strange characters, interesting smells, and undercover police operatives looking to nab the party on racketeering charges. Let's populate those streets!
D100
Street Vendor description
1
A man in a long leather overcoat beckons you into an alleyway. He looks back and forth, and then shows you his wares; the lining is covered head to toe in mewling robotic kittens and puppies.
2
The most delicious smell of fried food wafts your way, from a vendor selling tailored pheromones designed to attract anyone to even the dingy-est restaurant.
3
Vat-grown meat is harvested from the mycobaterial latticework in front of your eyes and blended, packed, and flash-cooked into a perfect, steaming chili dog.
4
The public VR booth is crowded with unpleasantly sweaty customers today. Better off stepping into a cafe...
5
Civil Cooperation Bureau operatives are conducting a "Random Cultural Integrity Sweep" in this hab-bloc today.
6
A bright, red-and-white sign catches your eye, along with the delicious smell of fried potato and something not-quite-potato. Pot-tine, THC-enhanced and ready to eat!
7
A bright eyed woman selling vintage Tamagotchi Keychains with real AI.
8
A group of 15 or so orange-garbed monks training in a courtyard. As you look over, each turns and steps in unison, and the footprints they leave in the concrete are distinct.
9
A friendly local Armadyne vending machine, graffitti'd and heavily used, still selling discount cybernetic replacement parts.
10
Quantum Casino lottery tickets are sold at a streetcorner stall. Randomness guaranteed or your money back!
11
A child missing a limb, or two, sits on a blanket covered with knock-off mindsense or holo-flicks. Most are the price of a meal or two. A dark looking man in the distance seems to keep an eye on how well the sales are going for some reason.
12
A chef runs a hovering meal truck. He's got two sets of smaller cybernetic limbs that come out of his sides and help him prep different meat on sticks. (Don't ask where the meat is from - it offends him).
13
An ice cream truck drives around town, with a old horn playing a static riddled tune. The song changes to tell buyers what he's peddling today. Most of the time it's guns of some type, but he'll sell ice cream as well... for the kids.
14
Julie Argomar - A blind woman that sells different knick-knacks and cheap jewelry. Her real trade is secrets for anyone that knows, and the jewelry is just how she keeps up looks.
15
Three men on a corner playing dominos. Anyone can join in the game. You just put down the right piece to indicate what you are buying (along with some creds to show you can cover the cost). One of the men will say "he's out," and give you his chair while he goes off and gets your package ready. You need to know the right domino and lingo to ask for something, or they will likely shoot you down.
16
A homeless man shows off knock-off robot toys. Some have almost the right name and the same features as the real thing. Each robot has a chip he can buy information off of and he's a well known data merchant, why he keeps up the homeless look is anyone's guess.
17
Shea Tolson - Corp from the look, through and through. Get's her hands on a lot of high end, second hand gear that she offloads cheap that she sells out of the trunk of her limo. Just don't say where you got it or you might get a follow-up from one of the wired guards that look over her at all times.
18
Mindy Loo - Cyber Geisha - She has attachments you've never seen for things you've never dreamed, or maybe you have? Always walking the streets when without a partner.
19
A burger joint that cuts off parts of the cow in front of you too use for their meals, and keeps healing them back to normal. (After awhile they retire the cow).
20
A ramen shop run by a large black robot with six spindly arms and a menacing red eye that rotates rapidly between different dishes. The sign on top simply reads "NOODLES".
21
A hacked and graffiti-covered tanklike military robot sits behind a vendor supposedly selling hacks/keygens for various types of robots. Just plug and wait. He may be lying. To his left and right, two guards wait, bored. This is a high-value good.
22
A man with dirt cheap cybernetics with a "Larry's Sanitation" jacket, beckons you into an alleyway. His left cybereye keeps scanning his surroundings madly while the right one is centred on you the whole time, he gesticulates enthusiastically towards his ancient van that he hid away. Inside the van are dozens of highest quality cyberdecks. Or at least they would be if not for the bullet holes, water damage and... other damages.
23
A man with a massive number of cybernetic arms sprouting from his back who will sell you any of them you want.
24
A short woman with a shaved head and an industrial-looking jumpsuit selling nutrient paste for surprisingly low prices. However, upon tasting the paste, you realize just why it's so cheap.
25
A robot selling "SenSations", small electronic components that allow robots, AI, and cyborgs to experience pre-designed scenarios, like a relaxing hour on the beach or a popular concert. They are not cheap, though.
26
Baxem LeBrot - A portly man with torn leather jacket and bowler hat calls out to you, his rough neck scruff is just as rough as his voice. His shop stall dwarfs in comparison to the nearby stalls. He sells "Lebrots" - hot-dog type food for cheap. You have no idea what they're made of, and he dodges questions relating to the matter. They smell good though.
27
A greasy looking potbellied bald man with unknown eye implants is standing in front of a crude sign reading " Vinny's Vintage Snuff Movies". A screen besides him is showing clips of the most gruesome and obscene videos he has.
28
A street busker plays in the middle of the way. If you pay him, he'll coyly play a few notes on an electronic instrument with purpose: decoding the sound pattern of that melody will reveal an unknown location in the city's underground. What could possibly be found here?
29
A broken Android is limping aimlessly through the streets. Repairing it's hardware and software will grant you his eternal gratitude, and he will serve you until death for that. However, he is so derelict it could be an expensive task.
30
A gorgeous woman with cats eyes and a neon Mohawk is handing flyers, inviting everbody and anybody to a STD fest (a swinger sex party to catch the most STDs possible, in order to develop imminuities to them. Very popular in certain circles)
31
Random bust by the police ( or equivalent) ! As they shut down an illicit street booth, three of them encircle you and demand to inspect all your wares, checking for anything illegal. They can easily be bribed for a hefty sum.
32
Some things never change. A portly, mustached New Yorker in a white apron selling hot dogs.
33
A short man with automated spectacles offering a series of crystals. He claims these alien rocks can do everything from charge your devices, to eliminate toxins from your body. Most of them are a crock, but a few of them feel almost electric to the touch.
34
A shady vendor that is trying to sell futuristic items of unknown purpose or origin, the items do look pretty captivating though. Upon buying the item and leaving the town, the item transforms into a block of wood. You have been swindled by an illusionist.
35
A custom knife maker operating out of the back of a cargo van. The blades are pre-fabricated in a number of lengths and styles, and the handles 3-d printed to be a perfect match for the buyer's hand. If you know the password, he'll make you a knife entirely from a special plastic; it won't take fingerprints, is biodegradable, and rapidly breaks down if exposed to common household cleaners.
36
An elderly man with a wide straw hat leers at you from a canoe floating in the sewerage canal on the side of the road. He probes amongst the floating refuse with a long oar while the vulture's head grafted onto his shoulder offers tiny paper parasols to passerbys.
37
An MLM lady on a bicycle selling individually packaged fetal animals in bespangled and see-through plastic uterus bags. You can request additional gen-mod customizations (purple, feathers, ports for electronic device interface) from a catalogue to personalize your eventual new pet.
38
A talking AI vending machine with human arms and feet (12 of them, no shoes or socks) that presses its own buttons when you tell it what you want to order. It makes nice conversation and keeps abreast of the current rumors in town.
39
A sex mod booth that sells exotic and extreme novelty body parts to make bedroom life more interesting. There's a black tent set up next to the booth.
40
A small rented corner shop bedecked with old-fashioned neon lights advertising beers that stopped production over a hundred years ago. The foggy-glasses vendor sells antique computers, vacuum tubes, adapter cables, long outdated data storage formats, and also knock-off watches. When not engaged with a customer or fixing old devices, the vendor plinks away making chiptunes on a soundboard that your great-great-grandfather would have considered out-of-date. Unsurprisingly the vendor can identify virtually any old computer part.
41
A floating sleek chrome hyper-fast food stand where you shout an order as you go by and a little robot chases after you and brings you your to-go bag and coffee and charges your card without you ever having to slow down. It's popular with the suited-up salary people who never separate from their business phones.
42
A small family running a hovering bright red pushcart overstuffed with giant fry breads, savory spices, kitsch lucky gifts, styrofoam containers of hard-to-find non-genetically engineered heirloom cooking peppers, chicken feet, and hanging whole roasted ducks. The food is delicious but absurdly spicy. The cart-owner family are part of one of those "amish-like" sects who don't believe in body modification or artificial foods.
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